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Girlfriend Still a Virgin?
April 12th, 2007
Recently my girlfriend of some time revealed something terribly
disturbing and upsetting to me. She told me that her ex-boyfriend
from two years ago “exploited” her. While fooling
around, he inserted his penis into her vagina and held it
there till she could push him off (a few seconds). After this
happened, she would cry for hours while he tried to soothe
her. As far as I understand, this occurred somewhere between
3-9 times over 2 years ago and there was no repeated thrusting
invovled. She is still tight (2 fingers seems to get the job
done) and deeply regrets everything she did with her ex. My
question is, is this girl still a virgin? I guess technically
the answer would be no, however, some part of me tells me
that she still has not experienced sex in the way that would
truly constitue losing her virginity.
My girlfriend has always told me that she is a virgin and
still remains adamant that she is. I want desparately to believe
her, but I’m pretty shaken by this. I don’t know
what to think.
(My girlfriend is a devout Catholic, although I view this
entirely as rape, she has forgiven the animal so don’t
give me the do-something-to-punish-him rap. She views his
actions as just being a guy and getting very carried away
during a highly-aroused moment.)
• Si1ent Says:
April 13th, 2007 at 11:24 am
If she’s well rounded enough to view herself as a virgin,
you should do your best to do so, as well. It varies from
person to person, but victims of rape rarely are able to see
that they’re still pure in a way, so you should really
try to be as supportive and encouraging as you can about this.
You’re the person closest to her, the last thing she
needs is for her love to view her as less of a person than
she does.
The thing that would make her “less of a virgin”
to me is the fact that you two are sexually active, even if
there isn’t vaginal intercourse, so I’d evaluate
that LONG before I’d question the rape thing.
• Camp Says:
April 13th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
The fact of the matter is, penis + vagina = no more virginity,
whether she wanted that penis in her or not
• Densa Says:
April 14th, 2007 at 12:09 am
She is a virgin to me. She was raped by him. I was raped numerous
times when I was younger but I still consider myself a virgin,
and so does pretty much everyone else. She did not have sex
with him by choice. What he did to her was completely wrong.
If she had consentual sex with him and now regrets it- she
is not a virgin. But the way you worded it, she was raped,
and is still a virgin.
• rgNet Says:
April 14th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
She was raped, and is still a virgin.
If you have sex concentually, you lose your virginity, but
if you are forced, you do not lose it as it was not your choice.
At least, that is my opinion.
You should probably try to get her some help about this by
the way; being raped is not something to take lightly.
• saveoursouls24 Says:
April 14th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
I wud still consider her a virgin. Like what was stated before
me, she didn’t want it. Just dont let it really bother
you that much. Be there for her, n just let it stay in the
past. Thats all I can really say.
• Alone Says:
April 15th, 2007 at 1:07 am
if she was willing then no she is not a virgin.
if she was not willing then yes she is a virgin.
but i have a question, why did it occur 3-9 times? why not
leave him after the first time? he shouldn’t have done
it with out knowing wether she wanted him to or not. it just
doesn’t make sense.
• ms.lucy Says:
April 15th, 2007 at 3:33 am
I don’t know if she is or not but I do know its not
as simple as penis in her vulva means shes no longer a virgin.
Following that thought would mean a lesbian who had never
had sex with a man would be a virgin. Well I don’t think
thats the case, its the experience of being close to someone
you share feelings for. And surely there must be some pleasure
involved, and sex shouldn’t be one sided.
Whether or not she is or isn’t shouldn’t really
matter if you share strong feelings and she has always done
right by you
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